


Alibi

by Strawberrywaltz



Series: Antics [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: All is not what it seems, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I was stuck in traffic when I thought of this plot, Listening to Emery, Murder Mystery, Road construction is good for something!, Sorry for all the pointless tags, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:08:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberrywaltz/pseuds/Strawberrywaltz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony thinks he may have murdered someone and calls a friend to help him get rid of the evidence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alibi

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my favorite stories I've written for this fandom! I'm happy to be sharing it on this site for the first time. It is unbeta'd and however as I have developed better grammatical skills (not perfect, just better) I've looked over and revised it from it's original form (posted last year on Fanfiction.net). It's still the same, just a little easer to read and cleaner. 
> 
> If grammatical errors personally offend you...you may want to look elsewhere for your entertainment since I am only human. 
> 
> However if you are looking for a fun ride read on!

Tony's heart pounded painfully against the inside of his chest as he stared down at the bloody knife in his hand.  


"What did you do?"

The sound of the shocked voice drew Tony's eyes up to meet Clint's stormy gaze. They were in the city, it was nighttime and somebody was dead. The street was quiet behind Clint standing at the mouth of the alleyway. Somewhere just out of Tony’s line of sight there was a street lamp flickering on and off. It gave everything that was happening a horror film feel.

Tony looked back down at the stained knife in his hand.

"I didn't do anything," Tony rasped out.

Clint pointed down towards Tony's feet. "Steve's body says otherwise."

Down on the ground next to him Steve was laid out on his back. Blank lifeless eyes were wide open and even in death Steve still stared accusingly up at the billionaire. Tony could almost see the color in Steve's face drain slowly as his body began to cool. Multiple stab wounds littered the Captain's broad chest, some still sluggishly leaking red blood that dyed Steve's blue shirt a rusty brown color.

"Oh my God," Tony gasped as he dropped the knife. He cradled his hand close as if the handle of the weapon had burned him. It took Tony a moment to break past the panic and refocus his attention away from the body and the blood. "I didn't do that. Clint, you have to believe me! I didn't kill Steve."

Rightfully Clint looked skeptical. "Tony, you literally have his blood on your hands." Clint pointed toward the knife. "You were holding the murder weapon standing over the body!"

"I didn't – I didn't do this!" Tony pleaded, "You have to help me! I won't do well in jail. I mean look at me, this face? It's too pretty – I'm too pretty for jail, Clint! Not to mention I put half of those SOB's in there, they'll have a field day with pay back! I'm screwed – I'm so screwed!"

Clint looked from Tony's panicked expression, down to Steve's dead body, over to the bloody knife on the ground, and returned his calculating stare to Tony. "Okay – okay, look, I'll help you." With a sharp breath Clint nodded to himself and continued, "You'll have to do everything I tell you to do, okay?"

"Yes, anything – I'll do anything you ask, just please help me." Tony agreed quickly, stepping a little closer to Clint and further from the empty shell that used to be Steve. "What do we do?"

"First we need to get rid of his body. Burning it would be best." Clint sighed as he knelt down on one knee next to Steve's motionless figure. With a deep frown the agent reached over to close the dead man's eyes. "I have to ask, Tony, what happened? I mean I know you two didn't always get along, but why the hell would you kill him like this?"

Tony froze, unsure of his answer. "I don't remember what happened. The knife was just in my hand and then you came – wait." A thought dawned on the billionaire. "Wait, why are you even here? Oh my God, did you kill him?" Things started clicking together in Tony's mind as he stared down at Clint and Steve.  
"What are you talking about? You texted me to meet you here." Clint glared back up at Tony.

"The hell I did!" Tony shot back moving away from Clint. The SHIELD agent could have easily drugged him and somehow planted the murder weapon in his hand. It all made sense! Clint had all the resources necessary to –

"Uh, yes you did." Clint reached around his back and Tony dove for cover behind a dumpster. This was it – Tony thought as he curled into a ball behind the dumpster – this was how the amazing Ironman would die. Clint would shoot him in the head and burn both bodies to cover up the evidence.

Quiet footsteps stopped directly in front of his hiding spot. Tony looked up into Clint's un-amused expression. 

"Calm down you idiot, I was just getting my cell phone." The agent held the small device out to Tony.  
Hesitantly Tony took the cell phone and silently read the words written on the screen. "Huh, so I did text you." The billionaire frowned before looking back up at Clint. "So, you really didn't kill Steve?"

"Nope." Clint held out his hand to help Tony up. "What's the last thing you do remember?"  
After a moment of consideration Tony answered. "Steve and I were at the tower – " And just like that a light bulb turned on in his head. "Oh, he killed my big screen! The idiot thought it would be a good idea cleaning it with Windex. Un-believable."

"He killed the TV, so you killed him?" Clint asked slowly, voice lined with disgust. "Couldn't you have bought another one? You’re like a millionaire or something!"

"Billionaire." Tony corrected, pointing a finger at Clint's chest. "And I'll have you know I loved that TV. It died before its time."

"So your first reaction was to kill Steve?" Clint narrowed his eyes accusingly.

Tony shook his head. "I don't know! The next thing I remember is the knife in my hand. I blacked out or something, I don't remember a thing."

"How very Velma Kelly of you." Clint sighed with a glance back in Steve's direction. "We need to move the body before someone decides to take a piss back here."

Tony's eyes widened with surprise. "Did you just make a Chicago movie reference?"

Clint blinked. "Yeah, why?"

The billionaire shook his head. "Just didn't peg you for the musical loving type."

"Yeah well, I didn't peg you for the murderer type, yet here we are." Clint showcased the alleyway with his hands as he moved back to Steve's dead body. "Okay, so we need to get rid of the body and all the evidence. We could burn it here but I think we should move everything outside the city. We need a way to transport the body."

"Jarvis!" Tony snapped his fingers excitedly. "I'll get him to send us a car."

"Idiot, we can't do that." Clint shook his head, "We can't use anything that can be linked back to us. Look, you wrap up the body, I'll get us a car."

"Wait a minute, wrap it up with what?" Tony grabbed the Shield agent's arm, keeping Clint from leaving the alley.

"I don't care what you use, figure it out." Clint growled. "Get creative – you're supposed to be a genius right?"

"Of course I'm a genius!" Tony shouted, but quickly backed down and hugged his arms protectively over his chest. "Where are you going to get a car?"

"I'm going to steal one." Clint announced as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Look, I'll be back soon. Get this done!"  
___

"So I wrapped up your body in old trash bags I found in the dumpster," Tony told Steve and Clint. The three boys were lounging in the Tower when Tony decided to share a rather disturbing dream he'd had about them.

Barton and the Captain had twin looks of shock and horror as Tony continued – the billionaire's voice way too excited for the subject of the dream. "Clint came back with a truck he boosted and we took Steve's body to this real secluded place and then we got naked."

"What?" Steve and Clint yelped at the same time, tensing uncomfortably as Tony continued.  
___

"Take off your clothes." Clint announced as he stripped out of his own blood stained shirt.

"What? Why?" Tony asked, "This is an Armani shirt, Pepper gave it to me for – "

"Tony, I don't give a damn. Take off your clothes, we have to burn everything together." Clint snapped. "I'm a part of this now. If you go down, I go down. And I'm not about to go down for this."  
___

"We stood there in our boxers as everything went up in flames." Tony grinned enthusiastically as Steve and Clint stared slack jawed at him.

Suddenly the smile was gone and Tony turned surprisingly serious.

"That's when I had a minor panic attack and totally Clint overreacted."  
___

"This isn't going to work. Someone is going to link something back to me – to us!" Tony gasped, near hyperventilation. "We are going to jail, Clint! You might do well in jail, even own it, but I'm going to end up as someone's bitch. Don't let me become someone's bitch!"

"Tony, the only way we could end up in jail is if you tell someone what happened." Clint hissed. "Are you going to tell someone what happened?"

"No, I – I won't tell anyone. But, but – " the billionaire paced back and forth as he stammered. "I can't go to jail, Clint, I can't." Tony whined.

"Listen to me, Stark. I didn't just help you get rid of evidence for you to give everything away with your eyes!"

"My eyes?" Tony touched his face defensively. "What does that mean? You want to burn my eyes too?"  
Clint glared, "We might have to. If someone looks at you wrong you'll give everything away. Let alone if they question you about the last time you saw Steve. Your eyes will give everything away." With a sigh Clint reached behind his back and pulled out a spoon. "I'm sorry about this, Tony, but they have to go."

"Wait?" Tony held up his hands to pause the situation. "Where did you pull that out of, your boxers? First of all, that is so far from sanitary it isn't even funny. Secondly, what would possess you to carry around an eating utensil like that anyway?"

Clint took a step forward and cold realization washed over Tony.

"Wait Clint, no! I didn't mean that as an insult! Of course you would carry a spoon around. Who knows when you'll get the opportunity to eat cereal, right?" Tony screamed. "Clint you've got to be joking – you already took my shirt! Anything but the eyes! Come on man, no, nooooo!"  
___

"That's when I woke up." Tony smiled broadly and popped a potato chip into his mouth.

The pause that followed was awkward, only broken by the sound of Tony's loud chewing.

"I'm not sure what I find more disturbing," Steve leaned back on the couch. "The fact that you dreamed about murdering me or the fact that you retold the dream with such detail."

Tony laughed evilly. "What can I say? I tell a good story!"

Clint smirked. "Your twisted mind did get one thing right."

"Oh yeah?" Tony snickered as he stuffed another chip in his mouth and crunched down with his teeth.

"I have seen Chicago." Clint admitted with a wicked grin.

Both Tony and Steve stared back at the Shield agent. "You're not serious. You've missed almost every iconic movie to hit the theaters but you've seen a musical about a murderous woman?"

"Hell yeah," Clint stood with a stretch. "The Cell Block Tango was hot. I'm hungry, let's go eat."

"I'm feeling some Italian," Tony announced, standing with Clint. "What do you say, Captain?"

Steve stared up at them, still shell shocked from what he'd heard. "You had a dream you killed me over the TV."

"Well, I really did love that TV." Tony defended himself. "And you made the mistake of letting me go to bed angry."

Clint snickered from the sidelines. "Come on boys, hug it out and move on."

"I'm not hugging him." Tony held up his hands defensively.

"I don't want to hug Tony either." Steve made a face at Clint.

Clint crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. “Fine, don’t hug it out, but can you at least move your ass? I’m hungry.”

"Fine, lets go eat." The Captain agreed with a huff, standing to join his teammates. "But I get to pick the restaurant. After all Tony killed me and Clint, you helped bury the evidence."

"For the record," Clint frowned as he stepped towards the elevator. "I have no control over what I do in Tony's twisted mind."

"And you really did kill my TV, I only fantasized about killing you." Tony pointed out.

"Doesn't matter." Steve slapped their backs as the elevator arrived and walked through the open doors. "We're getting burgers."

Clint and Tony glanced at each other with twin shrugs.

"We can live with that."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I'm going to post the Hawk Incident as soon as I read it over.


End file.
